Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Dear Abby: My Husband is ugly, and his children will be too.

DEAR ABBY: I am married but have two children, "Venus" and "Adonis," from a previous relationship. These children are very good-looking, and I'm not just saying that because I'm their mom.

My husband, "Herman," is ready for us to start our own family soon. Not to sound shallow, but Herman was not a very cute kid. He wore thick glasses and braces as a child. Whenever I am asked by either Herman or his family if I think he was a cute baby, I lie.

I know I would love our babies as much as I do Venus and Adonis, but I'm afraid they will not be as cute, and that everyone will know my older children have a different father.

These worries are causing me to have doubts about having kids with Herman. Am I that shallow? Am I not in love enough with Herman because I'm scared our children will be ... ugly? This is killing me. Herman wants to start trying for a family this summer. Help! -- WORRIED ABOUT GENETICS, CLARKSVILLE, TENN.

DEAR WORRIED: I have news for you. Herman was a typical kid -- and look how he turned out. He's attractive enough that you married him.

There are no guarantees regardless of the gene pool you're fishing in. I firmly believe that each generation is becoming more beautiful than the last -- or at least that's how it appears to me as I look around.

But please understand that nobody else cares who fathered Venus and Adonis, and it's time to give up your obsession about it.

Our Answer: Dear Worried about Genetics: You need to look for and SEE a psychologist, because you are so worried that you are "obsessed." Psychologists and psychiatrists treat obsessions, sometimes with anti-depressant medications. Get help soon, dear.

Or, tell your husband about your concerns. He will divorce you, and then you can find a more handsome husband. (Just kidding. Get help soon!)